Does your life feel like a hamster wheel? Like you’re constantly running but never getting anywhere? We live in a world where we’re continually prompted to want more. A bigger house, designer clothing, the latest gadgets – we’re led to believe these are the things that will make us happy.
But if we define ourselves by things – by what we accumulate, what we wear, and what we drive, we can never be happy. There’ll always be more “stuff” to buy, and always someone who has more than us.
If, on the other hand, we can learn to be content with what we have, we give ourselves a chance to enjoy the journey that is life. Instead of going round and round on a hamster wheel, we can meander, stop, take in the scenery, and smell the roses.
Read on for tips on how to be content with what you have rather than focusing on what you believe you have to have.
How to Break the Cycle of “Want” and Focus on Need
Can you truly distinguish between what you want versus what you need? Or do the two blur into one? Understanding how truly little we need can be a very liberating experience.
When we can distinguish between want and need, we realize that what we thought we wanted has often created stress for ourselves. The big house we had to have comes with bills we can’t afford. And now we want something else to help us forget about them for a while and make us feel better. It’s a destructive cycle!
6 Ways to Be Content With What You Have in Life
1. Choose Friends Who Support Your Goals
We’re putting this step first because it’s the one that may take the most resolve. Surrounding yourself with people who don’t share your values is setting yourself up for failure.
We’re not saying you can’t be friends with people of different income brackets. But socializing with people who don’t need, or want, to be as frugal as you will be a stressful experience. Don’t put yourself in situations where you can’t control your expenditure. Avoid these scenarios:
- Splitting bills equally when people have partaken unequally. Dinners out where bills get split evenly can see you forking out for someone else’s extravagant tastes. It can be embarrassing to make an issue of this at the end of an otherwise lovely evening. So, ask for separate bills upfront, or explain to your friends that you have a limited budget for the evening.
- Gift exchanging events without a fixed budget. Secret Santa-type events can make the holidays a minefield. Ask that modest budgets be set to avoid feeling pressured to spend a fortune to save face. Chances are, others will thank you.
- Shared vacations with friends with higher disposable income. It’s easy to make the mistake of thinking travel and accommodation expenses are all a shared holiday entails. Vacationing with friends who can afford to eat out every meal, or treat their kids to toys and experiences you can’t, could turn your precious time off into a nightmare.
- Competitive hosting. Entertaining at home can be an affordable alternative to eating out. But not if each host tries to outdo the last. Focus on making your home a welcoming, peaceful place where friends can feel comfortable to relax. Don’t get drawn into providing gimmicky entertainment and exotic foods.
If your efforts fail, it may be time to cut ties with certain friendships. Real friends will understand and respect your situation. If they’re not prepared to compromise, they’re not the kind of friends you need.
Top Tip: Join a hiking club or volunteer organization to meet like-minded people to socialize with.
2. Love your Tiny Home
The Tiny House Movement promotes the idea of living in a very small, often transportable home. Homes can be DIY constructions built from anything from shipping containers to salvaged materials. They are frequently “off-grid,” so utility bills are minimal. And the movement is strongly anti-mortgage.
Many young couples choose “tiny homes” as their first home to enable them to save up a sizable deposit for when they start a family. Other “empty-nesters” are downsizing on retirement to ensure their retirement savings last and to free themselves from maintaining a large conventional home.
“Tiny homes” are definitely not practical or possible for everyone. But being content with living in a modest-sized home will go a long way to increase what you can save and invest each month.
Secrets to being happy in a small space include:
- Keep things clean and tidy. Small spaces are easy to clean and save on cleaning costs. The secret is to make cleaning and packing away an automatic part of any activity. Teaching children this discipline from an early age will help them create stress-free environments of their own in later life.
- Minimalist furnishings and avoid clutter. In small spaces, everything should have a purpose. Look for furniture with clean, simple lines that double up as storage. Avoid collecting extraneous “clutter” – the memories they may hold will turn sour if you break your ankle tripping over them.
- Maximize light. Choose window coverings that can open right up and expose the full window. Letting in the outside can make your space feel bigger than it is.
Top Tip: The Danish concept of hygge, pronounced “hoo-ga,” encapsulates comfort, simplicity, and well-being. It is intrinsically part of the Danish culture and possibly why the Danes are consistently ranked amongst the world’s happiest people. Find out more of this lifestyle trend that relies on just one of two simple items to create a cozy, welcoming space.
3. Redirect your Competitive Streak
Some people thrive on a goal-focused existence. If that sounds like you, then redirect your energies. Instead of acquiring the latest and greatest gadget, compete against yourself for how much you can save each month. Work out how much you need to retire and try to bring your retirement age down.
Focusing on the life you want to lead, rather than mindlessly following the flock, will remind you why you’re choosing contentment over excess now.
Top Tip: Read up on the 4% Rule for retirement savings.
4. Grow Your Own Food in a Garden
The psychological and physical benefits of gardening have been proven over and over again. Time outdoors in the sunlight, doing physical labor, directly correlates to improved health statistics like blood pressure and heart rate.
An attractive garden can create a haven of peace and tranquility within your home. And growing your own fruits and vegetables can save you money at the grocery store. They will also taste much better than store-bought produce.
Working in the garden can become a shared family activity. It is far cheaper and better than walking the malls on the weekend.
Top Tip: If you live in an apartment, try container gardening. Alternatively, volunteer to look after an area of your local park.
5. Seek out Free Entertainment
Google “free things to do near me,” and you’ll be surprised at what’s available. Your local library will be a good source of entertainment ranging from craft lessons to children’s storytimes. Many museums and art galleries allow free access on specific days of the week and often offer children’s entertainment during the holidays.
Family sports like hiking and cycling will keep kids fit and distracted for the whole day. A bit of planning can turn an ordinary day into one filled with adventure. Their friends will be begging to tag along. If you’re not outdoorsy/active people, look for clubs and interest groups active in your area, like amateur acting groups, choirs, etc.
Back home, board games and crafts can teach kids practical skills, good sportsmanship, and strategic thinking.
Top Tip: There’s nothing wrong with bringing technology into the mix as long as it doesn’t involve expensive new equipment. Give geocaching a try.
6. Keep a Gratitude Journal
Learning contentment is just like learning any other skill – practice makes perfect. Keep a gratitude journal and make it part of your morning or bedtime routine. Every day, write 1-3 things for which you are grateful.
Over a period of time, you will be able to look back and see a pattern develop. The things most of us are most grateful for are not the things we buy. They are the people in our lives and the simple pleasures we share with them.
Top Tip: There are no rules to journaling. Add photos, drawings, recipes, or articles that make you happy and grateful. Make your journal a treasure and make journaling a treat – something you do in your favorite sunny spot in the garden or with your first cup of coffee in the morning before anyone else is awake.
In Summary
Contentment is a cornerstone of financial freedom. Making do with less now will reduce financial pressure and ensure your money is freed up to grow for your retirement. Question every expenditure you make, and soon frugality will become a habit. But always temper frugality with hygge – remember contentment is the aim, not misery and penury.